Category: Writers Block
Intangible Trust
By Kayla Rollison
The world’s at war.
She hears no sound.
Her strength is lost.
Her faith is bound
The sun shines bright.
Her hope is hiding.
Contentment forgotten.
Her time is biding.
The days’ve gone dark.
To match her nights.
Her heartbeat echos.
Her emotionless life.
The ocean waves rage.
Sending lost love tumbling.
Insanity makes sense.
Sanity is mumblings.
Fire once burned wild
behind her blue eyes.
No hand reached out.
Hearts ignored her cries.
Hopeful prayers went up.
TO a god unseen.
He ignored her too.
What a merciful being.
The pain scorched her soul.
Left no one in its place.
Her impression of the world,
An expressionless face.
The fear was tangible.
She took solace in what she knew.
IF she felt, she would hurt.
A recognition passed due.
A lover sweet an gentle.
Tenderly kissed her lips,lovingly stroked her hair.
Looked deep in to her emptiness.
Understood what was there.
A heart weakened by the world.
A mind terrorized by strain.
A spirit struggling for freedom.
To be alive againe.
So she did what she should.
HE felt what he must.
He let her let go.
Intangible Trust.
awww, kayla, i love that. you are one of a few I've seen that can make lines rhyme and have them still sound good. great job. i hear you, and the poems that come from just deep emotion are the best ones; i can tell this poem means a lot to you. love it.
Yep, that's interesting.
Wow, Kayla I think truely this is my life.
buck! buck! buck! this miss farazz rocks!
Raaj.
lolraaaaaaaaaaaajjjjjjjjjjjyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy your flattering me. stop it. thank u sir raajan
That was very nice. You write well.
wow? that is one of the best peaces of writeing i have seen in a long time. the emotion conveyed, the passion with in, the hurt, the pain, the hope. it makes sense. everything about that poem is reality for a lot of people. this is what miss kayla is good at. she puts her emotions in it, and people can relate. anyway i'll shut up now, but in summery i love it.
Heh Kayla you can do something I can't: stick to a rhyme scheme. I'm too damn random to do that. Congratulations lol. But as usual it's soooooo prettyyyyyyy! You just like, wrote my life... Except there was no lover in mine, that's the main difference. I finished going cold.
raw. as. fuck.
Very nice. It encumpasses a wide range of emotion in a very concise way. My only suggestion is to read it aloud to yourself. There were times when it seemed there were too many syllabols during a line. It's okay, but it ruins the effect by slightly hampering the flow. It can be easily remodied though. Overall a nice piece.
I still thought it flowed rather well.
I noticed that in one case the plural was used when the singular was better and one place that seemed to bog down slightly, but is it significant, I don't think so. I was moved by the work and that should always be the purpose of said poetry, how well does it touch the audience.
Obviously you've put a lot of thought into this poem, and it shows beautifully. My favorite stanza is:
"Hopeful prayers went up.
TO a god unseen.
He ignored her too.
What a merciful being."
But I love synocism.
Great job.
Bob
Very nice! I like...